So, hubby and were hanging, watching DVR'd episodes that we had missed, when I started talking to him about the sick member from his side of the family. This man has an extremely special place in my heart, and he has Alzheimer's disease. My maternal grandmother passed away from this disease when I was in the 8th grade. The last time I had seen her, she called me by my Aumt's name(in her defense, I did look al lot like that aunt at the time) and tried to say something but it came out as "The cow is blue!". The disease had reached her language center and the wrong words were assigned to different meanings. I never went back to see her after that because it freaked me out so much!
And now I am forced to watch this happen to someone else. His wife is having an extremely difficult time because he is very argumentative and she will not let him think things that are not real are reality. And he can never admit that he is wrong. It is very hard to be positive in this situation. I watch him very slowly lose skills? Hmm no- regress is the better word. He no longer drives because he does not always remember where he is going- we were afraid he would get lost! This last visit- we just saw him last week the time before was July 4th- I saw 3 new changes. One made me nervous,one made my hubby nervous, the third was like he is regressing into childhood.
I am very very sensitive to the symptoms of this disease. I saw the signs a full year before anyone else did- or could accept it. It was very difficult to tell some family members my thoughts only to have some spit back at me that they hope I am wrong! God help me, I prayed that I was wrong! I have had to face the facts that my maternal Grandmother, and her mother before her both were afflicted by this disease. I never wanted to have to see this disease again. But I am being strong because I have no other choice. My boys deserve to know he has memory issues but still loves them. And they deserve to see me treat him and his wife with kindness, caring and a positive attitude, even if it is not what I am feeling inside. I am remaining supportive during this extremely difficult time for the whole family. And I am praying that God would strengthen me and everyone else involved for the years to come.
Sorry for the seriousness of this post- I just needed to get it off of my chest.
Thank you again for reading,
Cindy
truly a difficult situation; for you as well as for them. God will give you all that you need to deal with everything that comes in the future. keep telling the boys the truth. it will help them understand as the disease progresses. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ginnie! We have been letting the boys know what is going on. That he has an illness that is making him not remember things. One day he took the younger one out on the tractor and then tried to take him out again saying he took the older guy out! There is almost a foot of height difference and they look very different. It got them upset. I tried to laugh it off later like he is silly but reminded them that it is the illness.I know that God will help me through it- it is just not easy or happy right now.
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