The things they tell us....and omit

Today, I mentioned to my oldest- the High School Senior- and asked why he never told me he had his books knocked out of his hands in Middle School. He told me that he doesn't remember it. I only know about it because in January, the Mom of one of his classmates told me that her son got in trouble many times for yelling at the kids who did it. I am glad that my son has no recollection of the bullying which he was subjected to. That it has not caused him to be bitter or angry towards these boys. At the same time it makes me sad that he was bullied and had no safe place to go to with it. 

Especially in Middle School, ask the questions that you don't want to hear the answers of. Please! It is better not to let them 'forget' and process it in silence. My son is 'lucky' and obviously skilled in blocking things out. I am concerned that when it does come to the surface that it will be difficult for him to deal with.

Confessions of a FaceBook addict

I have done it! I finally decided to stop going on Facebook all the time. So instead I have been sitting staring blankly at my phone for the last hour. Just not knowing what to do.  I was really really addicted to the opinions of others and to giving my opinions out! In one way of thinking, I am addicted to being nosy about what everyone is doing. In another way of thinking, I am addicted to communicating with people, many of who me I have never met! And my real life is suffering. A lot. My house was a mess before I joined Facebook, but it is even worse now. My part time job is no excuse because my kids have been amazing about helping out with at least one chore a week to make the house presentable. It is all about time spent on my phone. I am working at it and I am getting much much better about it..... Well I am trying. I have my glued to the phone days and I have my not near it except to have it play music days.

Reflections on 9/11/2001- 13 years later

Today I am grateful for the people in my life. I am grateful because although everyone  I knew 13 years ago today knew at least one person who was in Manhattan, the majority of stories I heard was 'how impossible it was to get home' type of stories. A couple of near misses, people trapped on the subway, and one truly exhausting-just-to-hear-it trek all through Manhattan and Brooklyn to get home are what I heard over the next week. There was incredible loss that day, but the people of my area- they showed their strength! By donating undergarments to the rescue workers, by reminding each other how lucky we were to be here, by showing small acts of kindness to everyone because life is too short. I did hear my share of harrowing stories from those who live closer to the city than I do. The heart of the people in my city and on my island- it is pure gold. The rude, rushing, obnoxious reputation is the tough, gruff exterior to our amazing giving hearts. So today I am grateful for the humanity of the people of New York City and the surrounding areas- because despite tragedy we found something to hope in and be thankful for.

The Indomitable Spirit

 

This picture makes me smile every time I see it! It is so funny to think that one so small is almost threatening one so huge. But then I got to thinking. You see, my youngest, my energizer bunny, he has always thought he was fast. In fact- he isn't. But he loves cheetahs and emulated running 'cheetah' fast as a small child. Even when he raced with the other kids at the bus stop and lost every single time, he would race again to get that energy out. He never got discouraged because he came in last. He would say," Wow Mom, X is fast!" 

This child would see the comparison between himself and his friend, but it never defined him. He raced for the sake of racing. He sees others strengths as simply that- their strengths. He does not see his own lack in the presence of the strength of others. He also seeks out the best aspect of those around him. It helps him to stay positive when he sees so many people with so many good things going for them.

Well that is the way he saw things as an elementary student. Now he has hit High School- all perceptions have changed. But he still sees his strengths and weaknesses as his and not having to do with anyone else's. 

As much as I want to be able to take credit for teaching him this, I can't. Not totally. Having an older brother who has a slight physical disability and ASD, and needing to explain that not everyone is good at everything in respect to his brothers issues- that helped him learn this very valuable lesson. 

Joy in my heart- purpose on my mind

Hmmm. For the first time since the autumn, I find I have purpose and joy in my heart again. I guess I should have asked Abba (God) to tell me when things had settled down. He gave me a project- it is a stretch talent-wise with painting/drawing. It is goooood! And although I get pictures pretty regularly, this was one I received un-asked for using something normal (that "grown ups who don't grow up" post I put on my personal Facebook page).....When He commissions me- that is when I KNOW I am on the right track.  

Vibration of God!

Vibration of God

So over last summer at a prayer meeting, I got a revelation that God talks sometimes in vibrations. I was hit with wave after wave of vibration that rocked me almost off of my feet.  Then I remember how God was in the whisper after the roar and the silence. But God also knocked the walls of mighty Jericho down with a mighty blow of trumpets. Add to that the scientific fact that all of life is moving and therefore has a vibration. Some sort of frequency that is unique to each item. Within a certain species of plant- there are sub vibrations which differ- like a spectrum of vibrations. So when I heard "Your love is like a symphony" it just all came together and made sense. Cool- isn't it?

Art supplies make me happy!

I am about to go spend not much cash for loads of art supplies! Kind of excited here. Because I am getting my employee discount and there is a super amazing sale in canvasses and pads and paints :-D

Worship

So I was thinking lately about worship. I love to worship. I try to worship all day. I was thinking specifically about the tools of worship. I draw, play my drum, dance, pray for people..... All of these are fun and all make Abba happy. But is this how He intended us to worship? I mean- people say of they were meant to fly God would have given them wings.... So..,, if we were meant to worship, hasn't Abba already given us the best instruments of worship already? Last week at a meeting- we had no guitars, no instruments. So we prayed and broke out in spontaneous worship with only our voices. There was no dancing, no guitar or keyboards, just voices and a bit of clapping/ drumming. And it was a very deep worship. It was deeper for me than what I experience on Sunday mornings when I draw, it was just deeper. I got no pictures, I asked for no visions, I just loved Abba and Jesus. Isn't this what bare bones worship is? Sometimes I think going back to only what is actually part of you to worship can reset your body to worship more freely. 

Some days they make me proud!

A big proud Mommy moment happened today. My oldest son has Asperger's Syndrome. It is on the autistic spectrum. He is quite high functioning, but he surely has his challenges. Well Mr. M decided not to do his oral presentation at school on Wednesday- and might fail his assignment as a result. So I gave him the assignment of  leading the corporate prayer at church service on Sunday. When I do the scripture reading, I also lead the corporate prayer. So Mr. M got up and stood with me while I did the scripture reading and he led the corporate prayer. He did a great job! He went right up with me and when I gave him the mic he said,"Please join me in the corporate prayer." and started. He was quiet but he did it! I'm quite proud if him! This was huge for a kid on the spectrum! I mean really- I couldn't believe he did it. He gets so nervous about any public activity- so he psyched himself up and did a wonderful job. He did ask me later not to have him do that again. I told him No- you need this.

I hope you all are having amazing days as well!

Gods mercy and love

Your love is extravagant. 

I heard that song as I woke up this morning. And while I was singing it I missed my Grandma. She held my oldest child as a baby and she made sounds we don't make in my generation. And then I realised that she and her generation instilled stuff in their children that has been lost to us in my generation. It made me sad for the children of today and how they have been taught. Then I thought of my church and realized that each member if my church had what the world didn't have. We had gotten those values from God- they are not existent in the world. And I am thankful.