On Honey.... And other things

So you all know that I am a type 1 diabetic and that I have basically avoided any straight form of sweetener aside from Truvia or Stevia. I am known to indulge in ice cream and a sweet every now and again but I try to keep it to a minimum.

So a month or so ago, I was over a friend's house for lunch. It was much needed girl time with some dear friends. And I was truly blessed there. 

What I want to mention though was for dessert we had these amazing fresh sliced strawberries! So I had some and I sat there thinking,"What IS that taste?" I finally asked and she had added honey to them because they hadn't been sweet enough. (She was totally apologetic but I can have a little on occasion and I was totally fine from it.)

What struck me as funny was that I couldn't pin point the taste. I always used to have honey in my tea- always. And on Rosh HaShonah the traditional dessert is apples dipped in honey. I can't tell you how many years I would be licking the bowl after! So to forget the taste of Honey- yeah that was really really strange.

I guess that is what happens when we cut things out of our diet or our life. 

I remember a time when I was totally at ease at a bar when I turned 21 and was spending time with my love there with our friends. Now- I feel totally not at ease anywhere like that,

So it goes to follow that if I cut out harmful things from my life- that possibly I will eventually forget them and feel uncomfortable around them. This is a good thing! I don't want toxic things in my life! 

So I am asking questions and trying to identify my toxins and rid my life of them. I'm asking God's help, of course. And I might enjoy them later on occasion. The lifestyle change of removing it and living without it is the goal.

What do you need to remove from your life???

ok

so I had this amazing thought in my head and it just flew...as I started to type it dissappeared.  So I will write something else.
When you have a child with special needs- people do not understand.  My son walks around school all day... with his sweatshirt hood up over his hair...because it is a place to hide.  Is this what I want him to do? Absolutely not- but is it what he does? Yes.  He is 14 and needs to make the right decisions based on the models her has in his life.  Does he sometimes overheat while doing this? Ewwww-yes!  But I love him- he is my son.  He has taught me that sometimes hiding is the only way we can be ourselves, until we become who we are meant to be more fully.  I know once he grows into his abilities and strengths and weaknesses he will stop hiding.  And yes, I meant grow into his weaknesses as well.  When we can embrace that there are things that we are not very good at- not in denial of things we can do mind you- like I have a really hard time with History and memorizing dates- but give me a string of equations and I am at home :o)  It is freeing to be able to tell my children- "Go ask Daddy.  I am really bad at Ancient Egypt."  I think I am modelling the right thing when I say it as well.  I know a lot but I am never going to know it all.
My other son, walks around smiling all day at school- skipping through the halls on occassion because he is just a truly happy child!  (I have eye witnesses of the skipping) He loves interacting with people, and loves school.  He is also extremely sensitive to criticism- he will hold it in until he gets home and then collapse in a tearful heap in my lap on a tough day.  From him, the most important things I am learning is there is always time for a hug and that I need to forgive myself much more quickly than I did in the past- he learned it from somewhere!
I guess what I wnted to say here is please look closely before you judge.  You just don't know what is going on in their lives.  Better yet, don't judge them at all.  My oldest would rather not speak to you because his anxiety is so high that it can be too scary- he is NOT ignoring you.
well that seems to be all for tonight. :o)

Time to crochet again! Yippee!

Hi all! Well, after a restful week at the in-laws and the fair, I had 2 crazed back to school weeks and now it is time to crochet. You see, I do not crochet in the summer if I can help it at all. but it is recently my favorite past time. I love the feel of yarn between my fingers, and to watch the blanket or scarf growing as I watch it. I love picking out the colors and changing things in the middle. My new favorite yarn is TLC Baby Amor`e for the baby blankets, and TLC amore for the adult blankets! Soft to the touch and vibrant colors! I also have a soft spot for homespun yarns. They stir the creative side of my heart. Last year I started making "scrap yarn blankets" which are made with left over yarn- which crafters call scrap yarn because they do not have enough to make a full project out of it. My wonderful, ordered, faithful and supportive husband did not like this as much as the old way. He liked the colors, and was very encouraging about that, but not the lack of symmetry. It cracked me up! In some ways we are so opposite. His love of symmetry clashes with my love of the random look. And I am still making my regular blankets, so never fear symmetry and order will still exist, but I love scrap yarn blankets more.

Sometimes I feel like my life is a scrap yarn blanket. A little bit of this person, time spent in that town, a summer with this group of friends at camp, a brief friendship with this one and a lasting friendship with the other. A childhood fling with these, but a lifetime love of one. All of these events have come together to help create my perceptions of life, the universe and everything. I am greatful for each and everyone who has been on this journey with me- even if you were the college roommate who made life not the funnest, or the kid who picked on me as a child- you have helped me to become who I am.