Goals, dreams, desires

So I was thinking today. (Quick- get the emergency kit out- this could be dangerous!) I was thinking of all the things I wanted to be and do when I was a young girl. I wanted to be a dancer, a singer, a writer (a blog does not a writer make people), at one point an artist, a teacher. But there was one thread that went through all of these was this: that I would make a mark upon this world, I would have made a difference. My greatest wish was that my presence here on earth would leave this world better for my being in it.

Now these were my goals as a small child. These goals changed as I grew up. As a married lady in my 20's (oh so wizened by my vast worldly experience) my goals were different. To be a good wife and to brighten the world around me. To find what my destiny my purpose in this world was and that I could make a significant mark on the world by doing just that.  

Then two years ago my main goals changed in radical ways. These things happen when you come out on the other side of a potentially life threatening illness and are left with a residual chronic disease- your priorities change.

My goals that day were as follow: to see both of my children graduate from High School and possibly college if that is the choice they make. To be able to dance at their respective weddings if they go that route as well. To hold every one of my grandchildren and if God allows it- to meet all of my great-grandchildren as well. To make a difference in the world by being a positive influence in my immediate surroundings. I want to be able to follow my destiny- part of which is seen by me now- and do it well. I want to be able to brighten people's days and bless their nights with peace. To be able to know that today I made someone smile or my phone call relieved some feelings of loneliness. 

Seems a lot like the other two now- but one key item is missing. I don't any longer have the need to make a global mark. Part of that is because, thanks to the internet and Facebook, I have been able to touch people all over the US  and across the other side of the globe. I have people I am in contact with weekly in other countries.

 Do I still want to be a household name? That's a tough one. I would be honored if it happened and I do believe my art is for a broader audience than I now command. But no- I don't want to be a household name the way a celebrity is. (Most artists become household names once they die people. Think on that lol)

Since then, I have sold 5 paintings and given away countless drawings and paintings. If what I am inspired to create gives life and happiness to someone else- why not let them have it? If someone offers to buy it I will sell it at my cost. My art right now is a significant part of my destiny. And it is to touch people- one picture at a time- to make this place a better place when I go than when I found it.

Now please remember- I am not perfect- I am extremely flawed and I do not always radiate light and hope. I still have my days of anger and wanting to lash out and wish this disease would just dissappear. I have my moments of screaming at my children and husband and whomever else will listen to me cry and whine. 

But my goal is to be someone who people will one day think on and smile. Who, by touching those lives I am in contact with, makes her mark on the world by doing the little things that can transform a classroom, workplace, restaurant, public bus trip for the better. 

On endings and new beginnings

I have been cleaning in my house today. We are switching cable/internet/phone companies and I have too many boxes of papers in the affected rooms. (There may or may not have been a crazy person announcing that the place looks great- we should change cable companies every month! That crazy person would not have been me this time, if it actually happened.)  So I came upon a scrapbook my friends up in the Albany area made me when we moved down to Long Island almost 20 years ago. Of course I had to stop all of my work and read through it. It saddened me because each of the families represented by a note or recipe or letter used to occupy such an important place in my life. I am only occasionally in contact with one of the five or six families who wrote such amazing things to send us off. And I had added pictures from the home group I was I after that. And I am not in touch, except through Facebook, with any of them. It's heartbreaking to me. I am honored that my friends didn't raise a fuss and tell me not to go. They all were encouraging to both my husband and myself.

 I have recently had a close friend move away. Although I was saddened by the loss I would incur from them leaving, I knew it was a final decision and I encouraged them with my whole heart. And you know what? My friend leaving allowed me to feel and process through a lot of issues I had been avoiding dealing with for years. They haven't been gone a full year yet- but I feel if they showed up today it would be obvious by my actions and my attitudes that I have grown immeasurably in their absence. It is obvious to me that much of that growth was actually caused by their absence. Sometimes what looks like an ending is actually a new beginning. You do know that every beginning comes from an ending, right?

So today I was musing about endings and beginnings. My eldest child takes the SAT's this weekend- he will graduate from High School in June. It is a bittersweet time. He has done amazingly well this year in school- grown so much  in his 4 years at the High School- but the future is a big question mark. We have no idea what he will be doing in the future. 

Anyway- it is an ending and a beginning all over again. 

So- are you embracing a new beginning or are you mourning the ending? The choice is yours- there isn't a wrong answer. I would like to encourage you to jump right in and embrace your life- because the ending doesn't mean time stops.

Happy "You Can't Get Rid Of Me That Easily" Day!!!

Hi Everyone!

Today marks the second anniversary of my admittance to the hospital with DKA and pancreatitis. It was serious but my God and the doctors prevailed. Since I can't help but remember my trials of this day, I decided to make it into a holiday to remind me of how blessed I am to still be alive. (Other name choices were 'glad I'm still here' and 'glad I didn't die' but I think this one is much better.)

So I was thinking of what I have been blessed with and I came up with a short list (and it really is short but encompasses so much!)

1) a closer relationship with my God

2)a closer relationship with many people in my life and with new people

3) the ability to draw a picture for someone and just give it away because I know there is a message in it that they won't get otherwise.

4) I started painting for the first time in  almost 30 years and people have purchased some of them! (Yeah still blows my mind that people want to buy my paintings but they see something they like there. Again it must be the message imbedded into the painting.)

5) I have two amazing boys and an amazing husband whom I have spent many treasured moments with!

6) my attitude in general of life has changed. In short, although I still stress over decisions, I tend to stretch myself more than I stay in a safe place. Not all the time but the percentage is greater.

See- a short list! 

Thank you all for accompanying me in my journey- can't wait I see where it will take me next!

Until next time-

Cindy

The things they tell us....and omit

Today, I mentioned to my oldest- the High School Senior- and asked why he never told me he had his books knocked out of his hands in Middle School. He told me that he doesn't remember it. I only know about it because in January, the Mom of one of his classmates told me that her son got in trouble many times for yelling at the kids who did it. I am glad that my son has no recollection of the bullying which he was subjected to. That it has not caused him to be bitter or angry towards these boys. At the same time it makes me sad that he was bullied and had no safe place to go to with it. 

Especially in Middle School, ask the questions that you don't want to hear the answers of. Please! It is better not to let them 'forget' and process it in silence. My son is 'lucky' and obviously skilled in blocking things out. I am concerned that when it does come to the surface that it will be difficult for him to deal with.

Confessions of a FaceBook addict

I have done it! I finally decided to stop going on Facebook all the time. So instead I have been sitting staring blankly at my phone for the last hour. Just not knowing what to do.  I was really really addicted to the opinions of others and to giving my opinions out! In one way of thinking, I am addicted to being nosy about what everyone is doing. In another way of thinking, I am addicted to communicating with people, many of who me I have never met! And my real life is suffering. A lot. My house was a mess before I joined Facebook, but it is even worse now. My part time job is no excuse because my kids have been amazing about helping out with at least one chore a week to make the house presentable. It is all about time spent on my phone. I am working at it and I am getting much much better about it..... Well I am trying. I have my glued to the phone days and I have my not near it except to have it play music days.

Reflections on 9/11/2001- 13 years later

Today I am grateful for the people in my life. I am grateful because although everyone  I knew 13 years ago today knew at least one person who was in Manhattan, the majority of stories I heard was 'how impossible it was to get home' type of stories. A couple of near misses, people trapped on the subway, and one truly exhausting-just-to-hear-it trek all through Manhattan and Brooklyn to get home are what I heard over the next week. There was incredible loss that day, but the people of my area- they showed their strength! By donating undergarments to the rescue workers, by reminding each other how lucky we were to be here, by showing small acts of kindness to everyone because life is too short. I did hear my share of harrowing stories from those who live closer to the city than I do. The heart of the people in my city and on my island- it is pure gold. The rude, rushing, obnoxious reputation is the tough, gruff exterior to our amazing giving hearts. So today I am grateful for the humanity of the people of New York City and the surrounding areas- because despite tragedy we found something to hope in and be thankful for.

The Indomitable Spirit

 

This picture makes me smile every time I see it! It is so funny to think that one so small is almost threatening one so huge. But then I got to thinking. You see, my youngest, my energizer bunny, he has always thought he was fast. In fact- he isn't. But he loves cheetahs and emulated running 'cheetah' fast as a small child. Even when he raced with the other kids at the bus stop and lost every single time, he would race again to get that energy out. He never got discouraged because he came in last. He would say," Wow Mom, X is fast!" 

This child would see the comparison between himself and his friend, but it never defined him. He raced for the sake of racing. He sees others strengths as simply that- their strengths. He does not see his own lack in the presence of the strength of others. He also seeks out the best aspect of those around him. It helps him to stay positive when he sees so many people with so many good things going for them.

Well that is the way he saw things as an elementary student. Now he has hit High School- all perceptions have changed. But he still sees his strengths and weaknesses as his and not having to do with anyone else's. 

As much as I want to be able to take credit for teaching him this, I can't. Not totally. Having an older brother who has a slight physical disability and ASD, and needing to explain that not everyone is good at everything in respect to his brothers issues- that helped him learn this very valuable lesson. 

Joy in my heart- purpose on my mind

Hmmm. For the first time since the autumn, I find I have purpose and joy in my heart again. I guess I should have asked Abba (God) to tell me when things had settled down. He gave me a project- it is a stretch talent-wise with painting/drawing. It is goooood! And although I get pictures pretty regularly, this was one I received un-asked for using something normal (that "grown ups who don't grow up" post I put on my personal Facebook page).....When He commissions me- that is when I KNOW I am on the right track.  

Vibration of God!

Vibration of God

So over last summer at a prayer meeting, I got a revelation that God talks sometimes in vibrations. I was hit with wave after wave of vibration that rocked me almost off of my feet.  Then I remember how God was in the whisper after the roar and the silence. But God also knocked the walls of mighty Jericho down with a mighty blow of trumpets. Add to that the scientific fact that all of life is moving and therefore has a vibration. Some sort of frequency that is unique to each item. Within a certain species of plant- there are sub vibrations which differ- like a spectrum of vibrations. So when I heard "Your love is like a symphony" it just all came together and made sense. Cool- isn't it?

Art supplies make me happy!

I am about to go spend not much cash for loads of art supplies! Kind of excited here. Because I am getting my employee discount and there is a super amazing sale in canvasses and pads and paints :-D

Worship

So I was thinking lately about worship. I love to worship. I try to worship all day. I was thinking specifically about the tools of worship. I draw, play my drum, dance, pray for people..... All of these are fun and all make Abba happy. But is this how He intended us to worship? I mean- people say of they were meant to fly God would have given them wings.... So..,, if we were meant to worship, hasn't Abba already given us the best instruments of worship already? Last week at a meeting- we had no guitars, no instruments. So we prayed and broke out in spontaneous worship with only our voices. There was no dancing, no guitar or keyboards, just voices and a bit of clapping/ drumming. And it was a very deep worship. It was deeper for me than what I experience on Sunday mornings when I draw, it was just deeper. I got no pictures, I asked for no visions, I just loved Abba and Jesus. Isn't this what bare bones worship is? Sometimes I think going back to only what is actually part of you to worship can reset your body to worship more freely. 

Some days they make me proud!

A big proud Mommy moment happened today. My oldest son has Asperger's Syndrome. It is on the autistic spectrum. He is quite high functioning, but he surely has his challenges. Well Mr. M decided not to do his oral presentation at school on Wednesday- and might fail his assignment as a result. So I gave him the assignment of  leading the corporate prayer at church service on Sunday. When I do the scripture reading, I also lead the corporate prayer. So Mr. M got up and stood with me while I did the scripture reading and he led the corporate prayer. He did a great job! He went right up with me and when I gave him the mic he said,"Please join me in the corporate prayer." and started. He was quiet but he did it! I'm quite proud if him! This was huge for a kid on the spectrum! I mean really- I couldn't believe he did it. He gets so nervous about any public activity- so he psyched himself up and did a wonderful job. He did ask me later not to have him do that again. I told him No- you need this.

I hope you all are having amazing days as well!

Gods mercy and love

Your love is extravagant. 

I heard that song as I woke up this morning. And while I was singing it I missed my Grandma. She held my oldest child as a baby and she made sounds we don't make in my generation. And then I realised that she and her generation instilled stuff in their children that has been lost to us in my generation. It made me sad for the children of today and how they have been taught. Then I thought of my church and realized that each member if my church had what the world didn't have. We had gotten those values from God- they are not existent in the world. And I am thankful.

Reflections on 9/11 twelve years later

I live in the NYC area, I have for most of my life. While many passed away that day, and I have grieved for their families, the casualties of this act were the people on the street who suddenly saw ash and half burnt papers-office memo's falling from the sky, and the thousands upon thousands of rescue workers who toiled without break to help anyone trapped in the debris. Everyone mourns the ones who died. I pray for the living. The people who survived and are wondering 'Why me???? He should have lived instead of me!' I pray for the ones who walked by the rubble every day, for those who were trapped in the dark subway beneath the towers for hours nit knowing what was happening outside, who smelled the ash for weeks afterwards, who looked up and remember that their whole world has changed- for the worse- and wept. I wept! I live an hours train ride from NYC! I wept for my two sons not being able to go to an airport without seeing US Marines posted everywhere. I wept because my country- the land of the free and the home of the brave- had its freedom violated by a mastermind who was definitely, in my mind, not brave. I wept for the changed skyline, for the fear that now entered my heart because it MAY not be safe to go anywhere. I wept. And on days like today, I weep again. I did not lose anyone. But for a while there, our whole country lost an important thing- hope. It came back with every person they pulled out of the rubble alive, with every rescue worker whose face was on a Newspaper, with the great outpouring of people who wee sending clothing to the rescue workers so they could continue their work. It has returned, we as a country are stronger and braver and more dedicated than our foes ever knew. God Bless America!

The crazy driver

So I was on my way home from back-to-school shopping at Staples. I was emotionally unsettled because once again I was upset that these teachers would ask for more books/binder than could feasibly fit into a students back pack! Ugh! So I have to go get gas on the way home because I was left with NOTHING in the tank. So on the way o the grocery store, I slow down, missed the gas stat on entrance on this side but am at a red light. I know I have right on red, but want to make sure I don't get in an accident as I am emotionally not where I should be to drive. The guy in the car behind me starts honking like mad, so I was safe and turned, and didn't speed up because I was signaling to go into the very busy gas station! He beeped more! After a few choice cuss words left mouth, I was so upset I couldn't get gas and went to the grocery store 1/2 block away. After shopping and regaining my equilibrium, I went back and gassed up. But that guy never learned from one of my earliest posts about slowing down. It was after 5pm on a Friday- and you just want to get home. But don't be rude people!!! Thank you for listening to this public service announcement!

My dis-ease.....

Hi everyone! Tonight I was worried. I had seen last week's 'Under the Dome' tv show and I watched a diabetic woman die of heart failure as a complication of her diabetes. It has been bothering me for a while. In the Spring, a close friend's daughter needed eye surgery because of diabetic complications. And she had been to the Dr a couple of months before. It is scary. Plain and simple. And I have to be strong and just keep muscling on and moving forward.
For my wonderfully caring and compassionate husband who has been my rock for 26 years
I am moving forward
For my incredible children who amaze me at every turn
I am moving forward
For my friends, family members, and acquaintances
I am moving forward
For my God- who uses me to touch people's lives
I am moving forward
And for myself
I am trying to move forward
A friend recently said that we need to keep moving.  We need to keep growing, we need to press onward toward the mountaintop (I paraphrase and embellish- so sue me!)
The problem is, this disease can kill me in the blink of an eye.
I have Diabetes. I was hospitalized in January a few days after my diagnosis when there had been absolutely no sign within the 2 years prior or ever before that.  According to my physicians- all 14 of them- holy cow!- it was a very fast developing condition- highly irregular.  Most people think Diabetes is just a dietary issue and if you lose weight it will go away! They are mis informed.
Type 2 Diabetes, which is resistance to the insulin your body makes, can go into remission if you eat right and exercise, but the disease never leaves.
Type 1 Diabetes, where your body does not creat enough insulin, never goes away. You have to inject insulin into your system with every meal. And at night before bed, another injection. You have to diet, exercise, take a handful of precautionary medicines, and still your disease can strike at any time.
The big D can effect very single major system in your body. Every single one. Lungs, heart, kidney, skin, nervous system, eyes, feet- many diabetics have had toes and even legs amputated due to loss of nerve endings working in the feet- a neuropathy of sorts- and getting a cut or scrape that gets infected and is not noticed within an appropriate time frame.
Diabetics are traditionally slow healers. That means my Wolverine-like healing should be fading but it hasn't yet!
Diabetes is my dis-ease: it literally puts me out of a place of ease and into a place of dis-ease. It is a scary place to be. It is a frightening place to be. It is an impossible place to be sometimes.
People say,"That stinks but at least it isn't cancer!" It can be worse than cancer because it strikes every part of the body where cancer tends to be localized until it hits certain lymph nodes or the blood stream. People say,"Well, you can cure it with exercise and diet!" People are uneducated and misled.
I can honestly say that without the support of my family, my friends, and my God, I would be curled up in a little ball of fear, trembling in the corner crying.
Instead, I am moving forward.
I have begun painting, interpreting Dreams and life readings, walking in busy street fairs and telling people encouraging things that I shouldn't know. Despite my illness, God is using me powerfully. He is my courage- on my own I am a wimp! There, I said it. Let me say it again,"I am a wimp without God!" People I know tell me I am so strong and brave. And maybe I look that way, but I don't feel it.
I went to a Diabetic Expo in March and met some incredibly amazing people who are fighting this disease with all that they have. They are not all wining, but we all did have fun!
So there. Now you know my dirty little secret that I have not told anyone since January. I am so frightened. But if I let it beat me down, I will die and I am not done here yet- not by a long shot!
Thank you- everyone who reads this. I thank you for reading this and giving me purpose to keep going. If I can impact just one person, if I can help just one life, then I am here for that reason.
Abundant blessings upon your heads!
Cindy

I am just not a very nice person

Hi everyone! I am in a really bad mood right now. And I figured that since this is my blog page it might be ok to let it out here.
I am just irritates by everything today! It started when I couldn't take a shower before going to the younger child's Dr appointment. And the oldest decided to take FOREVER to get dressed to the point where I told him flat out that if I started the car before he was in it he would owe $2 and if I moved the car before he was out there it would be $2 more. The car was started, he got in it. We were only 8 minutes late for the appointment, and we have 15 minutes before they get irritated. Oldest was crazy at Dr, but not too bad. Youngest seems to have bruised some muscles when riding go-karts this weekend. No biggie.
Get home and they play video games, fine. I do some stuff on FB and minor stuff around the house. It's now 12:30- yell for them to eat lunch. They ignore me and I hear yelling from downstairs- youngest yelling at oldest (always happens that way almost) so I ask them to come up again. No answer. I finally yell at oldest to get up here. He is messing with our cat, Yoda and they keep bumping into me. Grrrr! Then he refuses to eat- he is 16- he is hungry just being irritating. After 45 minutes if irritating Yoda and me, he eats. And the youngest comes up upset because oldest took over the computer page or some such. GRrrrr! Now youngest eats. And goes downstairs. He needs his email account to log into a new game site. It is no longer working according to yahoo! Great- just wonderful- yes I am angry! So I waste around 20 minutes at the computer trying to figure out this system, can't even remember hubby's password for his yahoo email to log him in. I am now YELLING MAD!!!!
Did anyone really do anything? Not really! I  just in an awful mood and wondering why I didn't put oldest into the camp for a few extra weeks- oh yeah $$$. 
And then I remember that I got a letter from the camp saying if we sign up now we get some crazy amount-like $1500-off for next summer.....
And I remember that even on my worst yelling and cursing days, God thinks I am beautiful and He is proud of me anyway. Partially because He knows I will make it through the yelly day and do something great tomorrow.
So I will go shower- -@2:35pm and go to the grocery store and get home and make dinner and be grouchy throughout and have a better day tomorrow.

What a long strange trip it's been....

Hi everyone!
I guess I just realized how long it has been since I have blogged. THAT long, hunh? So I am continuing to adjust to this thing called Diabetes. I take a handful of pills every night, and give myself insulin 4 times a day. I HATE needles and until I became diabetic was awful with blood draws and everything. 8 days in the hospital will certainly cure you of that- it did me!
Anyway, in April I got great news! My 3 month blood sugar was about half of what it originally was!!! I treated myself to some ice cream! And one doctor and I were discussing a possible surgery. And yes, I had a partial hysterectomy. This means they took my uterus. I had massive fibroids.  During my January hospital stay, they discovered a liver issue which prevented me from taking oral contraceptives. The afore mentioned fibroids were being kept at bay by those oral contraceptives. I had 2 choices: have the fibroids removed internally and externally involving a lower abdominal incision, or have the uterus removed- no uterus no fibroids can grow and same incision. Well, the operation was a success- and I have fully healed from it! Yay! The boys and hubby were amazing! Cooked and cleaned, I continue to be impressed! They all totally stepped up when I needed them to.
So, summer camps for my boys are over and we have 4 weeks left before school. Today I had each of them clean out all of the papers and stuff under their beds. One was sliding around like a seal spinning under there while the other was holding his breath because of his dust allergy and the condition of that rug.
And I am in charge of a church garage sale in September. So a bit of stress but I am dealing with it ok.
The very cool part, I had a bunch of healing occur! I was born with one giant kidney instead of 2 kidneys. And before the operation the tests showed 2 normal kidneys!!!! Praise God!!! And my hair, which had started falling out, is growing back!!! And Lipitor lowered my cholesterol so well that I don't have to worry about it! Yay!
So, there is my long strange trip for 2013 so far- hope you enjoyed the ride!!!
Cindy

Who I Am

Hi everyone! Sorry it has been a long time since I posted here. You see, I have been ill, depressed and for a brief stay in the hospital.  I do not want our pity or condolences. I have a new lease on life! I am healthier than I have been in years, losing weight, and generally happier as well.  But that is not what this post was going to be about.
I titled it Who I Am because in Cyberland, no one truly gets to know one another. You only see what I put out. Usually the best moments but not always. So here goes who I am:
I am unique! If nothing else this can always be said about me. Life is perceived  differently by me  than by anyone else in existence. And I will occasionally find people who see part of life similarly and I celebrate being in a group then. For the most part- a group of one is OK because my views and experiences are fundamentally different.
I am a left handed person. Believe it or not, it affects my whole life. From how I set up my kitchen to how doors open to what organized means- left handed people are very creative and not quite like those righty's in our lives. It would be dull without them!
I am an artist! I finally am embracing this fact after many years of not acknowledging it as a gift or calling. I love to create: with words, pencils, paint, clay, plaster, yarn(I crochet a bit.)
I am extremely creative. But I live with a right handed whom I love so my house does not totally reflect it!
I am organizationally lacking skills. Yup- some hoarders just can't find their stuff so they go out and buy another! And another, and another, and then they need help decluttering! That is me to a tee! My house does not resemble hoarders but areas are not walk able. I am getting better by ours hashing less as a rule.
I am a procrastinator.... So last minute is my deal.
I am an animal lover like you have no idea! My kitten is my youngest baby!
I am a wife. Enough said.
I am a domestic engineer. That is a housewife who gets things done- but my way thank you but in my way and on my timeline.
I am a Mom! I have 2 amazing boys! They are my heart and all of my energy goes into creating a place for them to thrive! (aside from my me time- but I can't help them if I am spent either)
I am a daughter and sister and love my family- those who are genetic and those whom have gotten into my heart!
I am diabetic. I am told there is no cure- I will have to watch my food and exercise the rest of my life- but shouldn't we all? 
I am getting thinner! No longer the fat lady in my mind! This is amazing! Maybe I will soon look like I picture myself in my mind's eye!
I am a Jewish-born Christian- again unique perspective is not always easy here. Things don't always make sense, but they usually do.
I am me! And I know that I was created for something very special and I am alive to do it!

Going through a tough Mommy day!

Hi everyone! Well, this has been an emotional roller coaster of a day! It started out great! Got to church really early with the bagels. Hubby happy, kids happy, Mommy happy! Then kids ask to play the iTouch. I say "yes!" happy kid! But then I realized I left it at home. Apologize but still an Unhappy Kid. Later that morning, they were both at the bathroom down a long hall- Unhappy Kid bangs his brother's head into the wall- repeatedly. Unhappy Kid, Hurt and Almost Crying Kid, Upset Daddy, crushed emotionally Mommy. You see, I was so upset with Unhappy Kid for hurting Hurt and almost crying kid! I was feeling no compassion towards Unhappy Kid, I was crying for Hurt and almost crying kid- the wrongful victim of his brothers wrath! Then, as I worshipped more, I was able to be calmer and forgive Unhappy Kid. I was sure that he never thought he could really hurt Hurt and almost crying kid. So, I quietly as I could during the sermon, went out to the car where Unhappy Kid had been removed by Upset Dad. Car parked in the shade with windows open was a safe and cool spot for Unhappy Kid. We spoke of what could have happened. Why what happened was wrong and why it happened in the first place. Unhappy Kid is having trouble with impulse control- big trouble! So Unhappy Daddy- in his wisdom told Unhappy Kid that he got to spend the entire day in his room except for mowing and dinner.  We went shopping at Staples. First week back to school this was a nightmare but we got through it with Mommy being the savior for both boys procuring those hard to get items which were needed for Monday! Happy Mommy, still Unhappy Kid, Hurt Kid and Upset Daddy.  At home after a few hours upstairs in his room, Unhappy Kid( yes I fed him lunch) decides to do the discipline which will get him out of his room but still not get him screen time. He writes 50 times: Dear Lord, please help me to control myself! 50 times! Writing is torture for Unhappy Kid, but he wanted to be a part of the family again,so he did it. And he came down in time for dinner. He learned to shuffle cards today- a major victory for him- there is a physical challenge there- and asked his brother to play a game. During the game he did drop something on Hurt Kid's head and got kicked in the foot as a result! Unhappy Kid got 10 more sentences and Hurt got to put the game away by himself and nothing else because he was clearly the victim here. At bedtime, Hurt went looking to say "Goodnight" to Unhappy- all was forgiven! :) 
     but my Mommy heart was bleeding the whole day! Why? How could he? Poor Hurt! My boys are boys, they do get physical. Please God teach Unhappy how not to hurt his brother anymore!
Sorry for another not too happy post- but life does that. Tomorrow will be better. 
Night for now,
Cindy